And please, read the whole text IN the stamp before commenting. I know it's pretty long, but if you don't you'll miss the whole point.
First of all, let me say that I'm not that much into the seme/uke thing, I usually try to keep the characters IC. So, if two boys have very different characters and one behaves in a more submissive way, it's obvious I'll portray him like that. But I usually try to portray relationships as equal. I love equality between men and women, equality between men and equality between women. But this doesn't mean other people can't draw/write seme/uke relationships. People bash yaoi fangirls for liking the seme/uke stereotype, but THEN they ship het couples where the girl is "uke" the 99% of cases. Incoherent much. And I'm not talking only about the sex, but about the character. I see very few couples where the boy is very very shy, short and moe while the girl is tall, tomboyish and strong. I see few couples where girl and boy are both tall/both short, because the boy is always taller. I see few couples where the boy is the tsundere and the girl is the sexy pimp who wants to make him fall in love at all costs.
I don't even see why you compare the seme/uke thing with het stereotypes. Or how should it "support" gender roles. No matter how girly a boy acts, it's still a boy. This means that that boy acts against the male stereotype, no matter if he's hetero, gay, bi, pan, ace, whatever. Those "uke" boys just tell how stupid the gender roles are (and remember they're called GENDER roles because they're about GENDER. And they're boys, not girls.) because they act differently from the male stereotype. Everytime you say "guys in male/male relationship should act masculine!" you're supporting the male stereotype, you're saying "males must be masculine". And who are you to decide how people/characters should be/act? YOU are the stereotyper here. YOU're talking like if acting more "girly" should be a shame.
Of course this goes also for yuri stuff.
A lot of couples are perfectly fine with one being dominant and one submissive. Take Brian and Justin or Ben and Michael from Queer as Folk. But hey, also Emmett and Drew from the same series. It's clear that there's a dom and a sub in their relationships. But they love each other and they don't care, they're just like that, it was natural to them to fit together well that way. It's their character. Now, do you want to accuse Queer as Folk for "supporting" the seme/uke thing? Is the problem the tv series... or the stupid people who think that ALL the gay couples do have a dom and a sub just because in the series the couples are like that? The same goes for yaoi. It's not yaoi's fault: it's just lots of people who start to like it are just still ignorant on the matter, so they think all gay couples do have a seme and an uke. But it's not yaoi's fault. It's like saying it's Superman's fault if a kid jumps out of the window and dies because he thought he could fly. So, come on, let's ban Superman from all the world! Superman is evil! Superman is dangerous! Omg! ...Or maybe it's simply the kid's parents' fault for not teaching him the difference between reality and fantasy? Just sayin'.
I know, I know, now you're thinking: "but that's not what I hate about it! I hate the fact yaoi fangirls really do believe that real gay people are like that! Some of them come to me and ask me stuff like 'are you seme or uke?', that's annoying!"
Yeah, some fangirls do. But please now calm down, take something to drink, relax yourself and listen:
You should understand that those fangirls who ask such questions are just exploring a world that is new to them. Before finding out the yaoi genre they weren't interested in homosexuality at all, so it's obvious they know only what they see in yaoi/shonen ai stuff. But give them time, give them some years to explore the LGBT world and they'll change their mind. I've grown up too, and so did all my friends who love yaoi/yuri, and our behavior has changed. If some fangirl asks you things like "are you seme or uke?" just tell her that in real life things are not like in BL manga, because it means she just doesn't know. Fangirls are curious and all fired up on the matter, and I think that's exacly why we should teach the newbies how things are in real life too, teach them all we can on the LGBT world, so that they can become a great and fired-up "army" and really help in LGBT-related matters. They're like curious children, asking weird questions cluelessly but really, really curious. They're like newborn sprouts, we just have to give them water.
And check out the comments: you could find there answers I didn't put here.
Some comments you might find interesting to read before commenting yourself:
Comment by a lesbian who likes yaoi and who talks about gender roles: [link]
Comment by a fangirl who talks about yaoi fangirls and people who insult them: [link] (You should read it before attacking fangirls. Seriously.)
Comment by a fangirl who compares yaoi to fantasy stories: [link]
Comment by a girl who explains why the seme/uke thing is actually a very good thing against gender roles: [link]
Confession of a man who explains how the seme/uke thing is "a natural way for many people to understand and accept homosexual relationships": [link]
Very interesting comment by a girl who probably explains this better than I did: [link]
Please, tell me if I made any grammatical mistake in the stamp. I'll correct it ASAP!
Ah! And comments like "oh well I h8 yaoi anywayz so I dun care lulz!!1" will be hidden, because they're useful, terribly short and they're not even taking the stamp seriously.
"It is the story of the magnificent banquet: six hundred different plates offer themselves to your appetite; are you going to eat them all? No, surely not, but this prodigious variety enlarges the bounds of your choice... choose and let lie the rest without declaiming against that rest simply because it does not have the power to please you. Consider that it will enchant someone else, and be a philosopher." --The Marquis Donatien de Sade "The 120 Days of Sodom"
I love this stamp and all of your comments regarding it.
I feel like so many people who argue that strict seme/uke pairings are homophobic (which regardless would be a totally inappropriate word for it) do so by being incredibly sexist. Calling out the uke for being weak, overly submissive, crying easily, ect. and then saying "he's a man! He shouldn't act like a girl!"... like all those stereotypes are perfectly fine to apply to women and that strict dom/sub stereotypes are perfectly fine to apply to all heterosexual relationships.
Personally, most of the pairings I tend to like go by the typical seme/uke setup, but that doesn't mean I think that's how all gay (or straight or lesbian) relationships should or do actually work in real life. It's just a fantasy. Main reason I like it is simply because I'm attracted to the act of receiving and I'm attracted to the more "feminine" looking male characters. Thus, I only want to see it if they're the ones receiving. Simple as that. If other people like it a different way or would just prefer it to be more realistic, then good for them they can like and read and write and draw whatever they want, I'll just have very little interest in it and would rather stick with what I like. I hate it when people act like seme/uke relationships are something people only like because they're 'ignorant to how real homosexual relationships work' or even stupider they're 'just het fans in disguise' (seriously? it's not enough to claim what other people like is offensive and wrong, but now you have to claim they don't even like it in the first place?)
Also, I like het relationships where the female is more dominant, but that's even harder to find then a reversible yaoi couple!
All this and the fact that hentai and anything else explicit aimed at a male audience seem to receive little flack for their unrealistic portrayals of women. I think it's something of a double standard revolving around the idea of either "boys will be boys, but women should know better and be more respectful" or that porn isn't for women, so yaoi should all be aimed more towards a gay man's ideals (even though this is not the same with stuff involving lesbians, in which case it should be aimed towards a straight man's ideals).
(tried to keep this comment as coherent and unrambley as possible, but I'm not sure how well I managed )
It's a stereotype that's popular among young fans of the yaoi genre. Actually "seme" and "uke" were words used in karate referring to "the one who attacks" and "the one who receives", but now they're also used to mean (in the yaoi fandom) "the one who tops" (seme) and "the one who bottoms" (uke). That's totally normal, and we're all cool til here. But then, young fans started to stereotype them, so the "seme" became "the cool, tall, hot, strong guy who tops" and the "uke" became "the weak, 'girly', tsundere, cute guy who bottoms". Now, there's nothing wrong with couples like this. The only problem is the fact young fans think EVERY gay couple works like this, with a 'masculine' top and a 'femme' bottom. But in some years they gradually grow to understand that's not really how it works.
Guess what guys! I'm
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and commissions, I
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day, July 27th.
before anyone asks,
the wedding is not
been planning it for
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Sorry, I can't
believe it's been so
long since I've done
this "orzEdit: I
forgot, but my
friend here's having
it's about your
with your favourite
food. It can be your
own character or
FIRSTLY: thank you
so much for all your
kind birthday wishes
and little gifts!
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to the first part of
would like to
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who are asking if
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so, how much should
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More